


Right Here

by The_Grimalkin



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Blind Character, Blind Roy Mustang, Blindness, Ed is overwhelmed, Emotional Baggage, Hospitals, M/M, Making Out, Nightmares, Roy is comforting, Roy reflecting on his loss of sight, discussion of Ed losing his Alchemy, he isn't even mentioned, marcoh doesn't heal roy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-12
Updated: 2019-01-12
Packaged: 2019-10-08 22:40:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17395037
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Grimalkin/pseuds/The_Grimalkin
Summary: “Wait, you said that you sacrificed something.” Roy could feel the slight tremor of Ed’s body through his fingers that were still on Ed’s forearm. “How did you… how exactly did you get Al’s body back from the gate?”Edward went still, almost rigid, but didn’t try to move away so Roy continued to loosely hold on to his arm. He could barely hear Ed breathing and was worried that if the blond slipped out of his hospital room, Roy might not be able to tell. He wasn’t going to let go. Not now.(After the final battle, Roy is recovering in the hospital and coming to terms with his blindness. One night, Ed shows up. Confessions and feelings follow.)





	Right Here

**Author's Note:**

> Basically, Dr. Marcoh either didn't try or couldn't heal Roy's eyes. I pretty much just ignored that part of the story. Told in a flashback/memory fashion.

Mustang. Mustang. Roy!

“Roy!” 

The shout finally shocked Roy from the dream. No, it was a memory, of the gate. Of Truth. 

Roy hadn’t been properly introduced to the entity in his short time in-between worlds. The name, or rather, title, of the creature was told to him by Ed on one of their numerous conversations in the hospital. 

The hospital. That was not a time Roy wanted to remember, save for the late nights talking with Edward. After fighting in the battle that saved central city, and the whole world really, all those still left alive flocked to the hospitals. Alphonse had gotten his body back, but apparently it was not well cared for while in Truth’s possession. The faceless, ambiguous blob of a being made Roy’s hands shake, grounding him in the present moment where he became aware of someone’s hands on his shoulders. 

Slowly, Roy took a deep breath, willing his hands to stop shaking and release his grip on the rough bedsheets. As his mind calmed down, he felt the warm hands leave his body.

“Roy?” a whispered plea, spoken softly and without conviction. “Please. Wake up.”

Roy slowly opened his eyes. It was pointless as nothing came into focus, but remained silent, static, black. Yet he still blinked a few times, perhaps as a habit left over that wouldn’t be easily forgotten. 

“Edward?” he guessed in a voice still halfway asleep. 

“Uh, yeah.” Ed replied. Roy wasn’t surprised by now. It was when he was first in the hospital being treated for his after-battle wounds that Edward started showing up at his bedside nearly every night. He had heard that Alphonse was in intensive care, apparently extremely malnourished with badly atrophied muscles. It was all the nurses seemed to talk about, how a 7-foot-tall man in heavy armor and this weak, fragile boy could be the same person. Some didn’t believe he was while others thought it was the work of the “out-of-control-little-state-alchemist.” He almost chuckled at that when he’d heard it.

One night, while Roy sat up in his uncomfortable hospital bed with his head in his hands, slow, uneven footsteps started walking towards his bedside. Roy was told that, although he would soon be able to identify different people by their gait and presence, during the adjustment period he shouldn’t stress himself out over not being able to recognize his friends and loved ones right away. Logically, that made sense to him, but not initially recognizing Riza on a visit made him weary to assume anyone’s identity. That didn’t mean he couldn’t guess about his current visitor, though. 

“Mustang?” 

Roy was right. He lifted his head up and spoke. “Fullmetal?”

“Yeah,” Ed confirmed, “I uh, well see they kicked me out of Al’s room for some tests or some bullshit.”

“Oh.” Roy said. He figured that’s why Ed hadn’t shown his face, not that it would have mattered. “Alphonse… his body?” 

“Yeah, it’s, well, he’s in one piece, at least.” Ed’s voice rose just a bit with a trace of warmth. “But, uh, he’ll be really weak for a while. The Doc almost ripped into me for not feeding him or letting him outside. I almost clocked him, but Al spoke up and gave him an explanation.” Roy could hear Ed’s steady breathing from a few feet away.

“So, you did it then, you got your bodies back?” Roy asked.

“Oh, yeah, I guess you didn’t actually see what was going on at the end there when we beat that evil bastard.” Normally Roy would have heard pity when someone mentioned his blindness directly, but he couldn’t hear it in Ed’s voice. Ed just said it as a fact. “Long story short, Al sacrificed himself for me, so I sacrificed something for him. And, yeah, I finally, finally, got my brother back.” Ed let out a breath of relief before continuing. “I got my arm back too. My leg though, well, I still needed something to kick the balls off anyone who got in my way.” 

“Your… arm? You got your arm back?” Roy asked, not being able to picture the blond without his metal appendage. 

“Yeah, uh…” Ed paused for a moment before footsteps slowly tapped closer to his bedside. Roy almost flinched when he felt Ed’s hands on his own. Hands, as in, both of them. Roy flipped his palms up, feeling rough, callused skin in his right hand, and soft, almost silky skin in his left. He took his right hand and placed it on Ed’s warm, newly recovered right hand that was still in his own. He heard Ed take in a short breath, like the touch was unexpected. He didn’t pull away though, so Roy started to gently spread his own fingers over Ed’s, taking in the delicate texture and slight heat radiating from the unblemished skin. Almost overcome with the urge to memorize every inch of Ed’s skin, Roy began to trail his hands up Ed’s arm before realizing exactly what the blond had told him.

“Wait, you said that you sacrificed something.” Roy could feel the slight tremor of Ed’s body through his fingers that were still on Ed’s forearm. “How did you… how exactly did you get Al’s body back from the gate?” 

Edward went still, almost rigid, but didn’t try to move away so Roy continued to loosely hold on to his arm. He could barely hear Ed breathing and was worried that if the blond slipped out of his hospital room, Roy might not be able to tell. He wasn’t going to let go. Not now. 

After almost two whole minutes of near silence from both men, Ed seemed to recover from his immobility and shifted closer to Roy before sitting next to him on the bed. Roy could tell how close Ed was, despite not actually seeing him, from the heat of their almost touching thighs and Ed’s quiet but audible breaths. Roy would have guessed that their faces were less than six inches apart, mostly level now since Ed’s finally gained some height to his stature. He also felt something lightly brush across his forearm where it was between them. Roy then felt Ed’s other hand rise and from the sound Roy guessed it was the blond tucking his lose hair behind his ear. Roy again felt the brush against his arm and carefully raised his own hand chasing after it. It was only when he reached Ed’s jawline that he realized his hand was in Ed’s hair. 

Roy wasn’t sure what to think. There they were, late at night in his hospital room, holding hands between their very close together bodies, while Roy’s other hand was in Ed’s hair. It was almost… intimate. Roy was about to drop his hand back down to the bed when Ed’s hand caught his and laid it flat against the side of his face. Roy tensed almost immediately, but when his hand felt the moist tracks on Ed’s cheek, he realized the younger man was silently crying. Instinctively, Roy used his thumb to wipe away the tears and felt Ed suppress a sob. Not really seeing a better option, while not technically seeing anything at all, Roy decided to stay still and let Ed dictate the situation. 

Left without his sight, Roy relied on his other senses for information about his surroundings. Although anything beyond a few feet from him could only be heard, anything closer, especially as close as Edward was to him now, he picked up on quite easily. Roy could feel the tremors start to overwhelm Ed’s defenses as his body started to shake. He could hear the jagged, short breaths Ed took as his walls collapsed. He could smell the flowery sent of the hospital soap on Ed’s skin mixing with the salty taste of his now freely flowing tears. He could feel Ed’s warm body as the younger man shrank closer to him, leaning his shoulders against Roy’s as his body gave out. Ed cried without restraint and clutched onto Roy’s shirt, bunching it up in his fists. Roy in turn rested one hand on Ed’s lower back while the other moved around to the back of his neck, effectively holding him. 

After a minute, Ed started saying something, but because his mouth was pressed up against Roy’s shoulder, his words were muffled. Roy only heard bits and pieces, but he could pick out a few things like so long, finally, Alphonse, gone, ever again, and you. Roy didn’t know what to make of the disconnected words, so he just lightly rubbed Ed’s back, trying to calm him down. 

Even if Roy didn’t know the exact emotions Ed was feeling at the moment, he figured it must have been built up from the constant overexertion and the overwhelming release of finally having accomplished his first and foremost goal for many years. His younger brother, who had grown up without a physical body, was finally returned to him in one piece. The guilt over his current condition, as well as the already established guilt of losing his brother’s body so many years ago, must be coming to a point. Roy understood the losing of goals, whether it be by accomplishment or them no longer being feasible. Roy couldn’t see anyway for himself to remain in the military, and of course becoming the furer was now just a pipe dream. All his strategies, connections, the paperwork, all lost its meaning. He would have to relearn basic tasks just to get around, and he would never again see snow, or a sunset, or his much beloved flames. 

Ed finally calmed down enough and was able to take more steady breaths, though he still clung tightly to Roy’s shirt. The occasional wreck of sobs still escaped but for the most part his body stopped shaking and seemed to relax into Roy’s touch. Roy then felt Ed’s arms snake around his chest to his back and he realized Ed was hugging him, fully, completely. 

“I’m… I’m sorry.” Ed whispered, almost afraid to break the silence. 

After the uncharacteristic show of vulnerability from the younger man, Roy wasn’t sure he trusted his voice, so instead he simply tightened his hold and continued rubbing circles into Ed’s back. They stayed like that for a long time, neither wanting to move should the glass break, shattering the comfort they both felt from the other. 

After what felt like an eternity, but at the same time much too short, Ed started to pull away. Not completely though, because Roy felt his breath against his face and his arms still clinging to his shoulders. Slowly, almost incrementally, Roy felt Ed’s face inch closer to his own, his breath almost close enough to taste. It wasn’t rushed, or desperate, but careful and deliberate, giving Roy time to say something, or pull away, or anything. But he didn’t. Roy didn’t move at all. With less than an inch between them, Ed stopped.

“Mustang?” He whispered, almost too quiet in the already silent room. 

“Yes, Ed?” Roy whispered back in the same tone. He heard Ed bite his lips before he answered.

“Do you… I mean, if… would… I, uh…” Ed tripped over his words. 

“Edward.” Roy said.

“…yeah?” Ed breathed out.

“If this is what you want, then ask me.” Roy said, keeping his words steady.

“Would you… kiss me?” Ed asked, almost losing his voice on the last word. 

And that was all Roy needed before he leaned forward, just slightly, and slowly, gently, pressed his lips against Ed’s. It was a sweet, innocent kiss. Roy’s eyes flickered closed. Ed tasted like mint toothpaste and beeswax and he barely opened his mouth, just moving his bottom lip to press against Roy’s in turn. Roy wondered how many people the still-teenage blond had kissed before. He didn’t think Ed was inexperienced, but rather reserved. Roy was a bit more deliberate, nipping at Ed’s top lip just a bit before he went back to cover his whole mouth. With one final press Roy forced himself to pull back and was just about to look into Ed’s eyes before the blackness came washing over him again, like it hadn’t been there the whole time. He didn’t move that far because Ed’s sigh was warm on his mouth. 

“That was… really nice.” Ed said after a moment. 

“…yeah.” Roy agreed. 

“I’ve… been wanting to do that for a while.” Ed said, a bit hesitantly. 

“You have?” Roy asked, surprised. He wouldn’t lie and say he didn’t find Ed attractive, but he’d never let himself wonder down that train of thought because, well, Ed was quite a bit younger than he is, and he was technically Roy’s subordinate even though the defiant state alchemist never took rank or authority seriously. But he hadn’t thought Ed was actually interested, not just in him, but in men in general. Then again, not many people thought Roy was interested in men as well as women. 

“Yeah, I just, it was never the right time or place, you know? I was focused on Al, and alchemy, and… well I didn’t think you’d ever think of me like that. Not that I’d really shown you any reason to think so, either.” Ed seemed to open up with each word he spoke, the tension slipping away. 

“So why my hospital room, late at night?” Roy asked. 

“Al’s okay. He’s safe, at least for now. I got, well, half of my body back. And we fucking won against an evil demi-god who wanted to destroy the world.” Ed chuckled a bit at his own description. “We overthrew a government and a new one, a better one is replacing it. So, I got what I set out to when I joined the military, and the people I love are safe. I guess there’s not that much left for me to do.”

“But there’s always alchemy.” Roy said. “You’ve always been a great alchemist, and always will be, even if it’s not with the military.” 

Ed didn’t respond, instead he lowered his hands on Roy’s shoulders down his chest and settled them on his waist. Roy felt goosebumps at the touch over his thin hospital-issued shirt. But Ed hadn’t answered his question, which always meant something was being avoided. 

“Ed?” Roy asked, partly about the hands that were flat against his body and partly about the unanswered question.

“That’s not an option for me anymore.” Ed said, his voice flat and dejected. 

“What?” Roy asked, dumbfounded. Ed only loved his brother more than he loved alchemy. And he was truly skilled at not only the technical side but also the application. People could study their whole lives and still never reach Ed’s skill level. 

“Mustang. Roy.” Ed said to get his attention. “I told you, I paid a price.”

Roy took a second to process what Ed had just told him. He paid a price. And alchemy wasn’t an option anymore. “Wait, you… you gave up your alchemy in exchange for Alphonse’s body?” 

“Yeah. I did.” Ed said. “It was the most valuable thing I could offer. And I would do it again in a heartbeat, because now I have Al back, my brother back. But I’ll never be able to use alchemy myself again.”

There was nothing Roy could say. Ed’s whole life was one hard choice after another, but as with everything he did, he gave it everything he had. Getting Alphonse his body back, the trials and hardships they went through helped Ed learn those alchemy skills, so giving them up actually seemed like a fair trade. Roy knew that as much as Ed loved alchemy, his brother would always come first, so Ed would never regret his choice. 

Roy raised his hands to around Ed’s face, lightly pushing back his untied hair before leaning forward, using his hands to guide him, to press his lips against Ed’s once more. Ed immediately returned the kiss, and with nothing holding him back, he kissed Roy fervently and passionately. Ed lightly sucked on Roy’s lower lip, and when Roy pulled it back Ed took the opportunity to slide his tongue across Roy’s teeth, earning him a short gasp. Roy knew Ed probably had more experience than he initially thought, but Roy wasn’t short on experience either. He lowered his hands to Ed’s chest, carefully sliding his fingers down Ed’s shirt until he felt the slight flinch he was expecting. Roy slid his fingers back up, but only enough so he could rub around Ed’s hardening nipples. Ed gasped into the kiss and almost lost his hold on Roy’s waist. Roy grinned against Ed’s mouth.

“Bastard.” Ed grumbled, before he lowered his hands to the hem of Roy’s shirt. He slipped his fingers under the hem to lightly caress Roy’s hips. Roy leaned into the contact just as Ed bit his upper lip, making Roy curl his fingers against Ed’s chest. Ed leaned into the touch, a light chuckle leaving his lips as Roy gasped. 

“Where did you learn that?” Roy asked. He could feel his face getting flushed and Ed massaging his thumbs against Roy’s hip bones was making things worse. 

Ed leaned in, barely touching Roy’s lips with his, as he spoke. “I don’t kiss and tell.”

“Mr. Elric, your brother is asking for… Oh, Excuse me!” A young nurse with a high-pitched voice had just walked in from the hallway, startling Roy as he pulled away from Ed, trying to find somewhere to put his hands that weren’t on or right next to the still-holding-on-to-his-hips Ed in front of him. 

“Oh, thank you, Nurse Kelly.” Ed was calm. He wasn’t startled or even that surprised that they had been interrupted. He could have seen her walking up the hallway even if she had been quiet. Then why hadn’t he told Roy they were about to have a visitor, especially considering the, uh, compromising position they were currently in? A moment passed where neither Ed nor Kelly spoke, got up, or left the room. “Can you just tell him that I found Mustang?”

“Oh, right! Of course.” With that the nurse’s footsteps quickly faded down the hall

“You found me?” Roy asked when he couldn’t hear any footsteps. 

“Well, they did kick me out of Al’s room, but I told him I was going to look for you. He just winked and said, ‘Have fun, brother.’” Ed let out a faint hum as his hands resumed rubbing into Roy’s sides. 

“Alphonse… knows, that we are, uh….” Roy trailed off, a bit distracted by warm hands.

“Well, he’s about to.” Ed replied.

Roy. Wake up. Please.

Roy opened his eyes once more, still to darkness, but it didn’t seem so bleak anymore. He felt warm hands drawing circles on his shoulders.

“Edward?” He mumbled, still not quite awake.

“Shit. Yeah, it’s me. You scared me there. I thought you had woken up, but you just passed out again.” Ed’s voice loomed somewhere above him, but he was still groggy and slightly elated from the most recent memory. 

“Where are you?” Roy asked the darkness. 

“Right here.” Ed replied, moving his body closer to Roy’s side and giving him a kiss on the cheek. Ed’s long hair tickled his nose so he raised his hand to brush it off, then higher to brush his hand through Ed’s untied hair. Ed let out a soft hum as he leaned into the touch.

“And where am I?” Roy asked.

“Right here. In our bed. In our house.” Ed replied. “Where were you?”

“Hmm, hospital.” Roy said, already feeling sleep start to wash over him again. 

“You had a nightmare about the hospital?” Ed asked, confused. 

Roy turned on his side to face the younger man. “No. I was at the gate, which was bad. Then the hospital, but with you, so it was good.” He reached out his arms to wrap Ed in a hug, feeling warm and satisfied when Ed snuggled closer to him to be cuddled up. 

“Oh. What night was it?” Ed asked, voice already a bit lower.

“The first one.” Roy mumbled into Ed’s hair. 

“That was a good night. I lost 520 cens to Al, though.”

“What?”

“I’ll tell you tomorrow. Go to sleep, Bastard.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!


End file.
